Wednesday, March 3, 2010

So you want to go back to Egypt?

That is what my husband asked me this afternoon after we left my mama at the airport. She had been here since Saturday, come from California to meet baby Moses.

We had such a wonderful time, I was so sad to see her leave. It had been a year since I last saw her. As we were driving away from the airport I was sitting in the back with Moses and my husband saw my sullen face in the rear view mirror.

"What's the matter," caring husband asks with concern.


"Hmmm.... So, you want to go back to Egypt?"

Do I? Is that why I am sad? Do I want to go back to Egypt?

Egypt, for me, is my hometown in CA. We moved to Washington almost two years ago, ready to live somewhere we could afford to live and comfortably raise our family, a place where we could plant a church and my husband could pastor, an area where we felt we should be and we were needed... away from my Egypt... where we couldn't afford to rent a one bedroom apartment, where we couldn't plant a church because there the Vineyard church is like Starbucks (one on every corner)...

but it's beautiful,
but my friend is there,
but my family is there,
but I'm comfortable there,
but it's home!

Do I want to go back to Egypt?
I always do.

But that's not where I am supposed to be...
I'm supposed to be here, in the desert (and it really is a desert)
This is where God has led us,
and I am going to trust Him
I am going to be content,
I am not going to complain,
and I know He will bring that which He promised to fruition.
I will be faithful and wait upon Him...
and when I desire Egypt I will remember His promises and thank Him for where I am.

"So you wanna go back to Egypt
Where it's warm and secure
Are sorry you bought the
one way ticket
When you thought you were sure
You wanted to live in the land of promise
But now it's getting so hard
Are you sorry you're out here in the desert

Instead of your own back yard
So you wanna to back to Egypt

Where your friends wait for you

You can throw a big party and tell the whole gang

Of what they said was all true"

-Keith Green


Rissa said...

This post really speaks to me! I've struggled, off and on, with "wanting to go back to Egypt." I'm from CA & miss it so - but oh, how I know we were called out. We knew that taking this sabbatical of sorts in NY was important and now? We feel such a strong pull to a place we never realized we'd go. And it's not Egypt. And that's okay.
The Keith Green lyrics brought a tear to my eye. Thanks for being vulnerable and choosing to post about this.

...they call me mommy... said...

What a great post, Amy! To be content where God has planted us! Thank you for sharing!

Leanne Barker said...

I just read this post today! Amy i've felt that way too so many times as we've left our families after visiting them. Too bad our deserts aren't the same place argh! Love you!